1 Year Ago

1 year ago today, March 6th, my dear Aunt Amy fell into the arms of Jesus. I can't even believe I'm writing this a year later; it seems so surreal. A few memories of have of Thursday, March 6th, 2009....

I was at work, and around noon received a call from my mom saying that I needed to come to the nursing home as soon as possible as the nurses believed Aunt Amy was nearing the end of her life. It was a sunny, beautiful day, and I remember driving there and thinking, 'can this be it? can this really be it?' When I arrived, my mom and grandmother were already by her bedside and the rest of the family and pastor arrived shortly thereafter.

It was a long afternoon and evening as we sat by her bed, said many prayers, watched her become cold, gasp for air, and slowly fade. I ended up taking grandma home late and went home to bed for a few hours before mom called around 3am and said that Aunt Amy had taken her last breaths. I got in the car and went to pick up grandma to head back to the nursing home. As I was waiting for her outside her apartment building, I vividly remember looking up at the night sky and crying out to God, asking Him to take good care of my aunt that I loved so much.

We arrived at the nursing home and saw her pale body. I kissed her peaceful face, and as a family we prayed - we thanked God for her brand new healthy body and we prayed for our lives as we had to somehow 'move on' without her around. It seemed like an impossible task as much of our time had been dedicated to her over our lives and especially during her illness - visiting her at multiple nursing homes/neuro centers she lived in, taking her to chemo, bringing her favorite chocolate Sonic milkshakes, sitting by her bed, and just being with her.

Although those 2 years were very difficult (and I wouldn't have traded 1 minute for anything!), I still hold onto the many years of joy, laughter, and good times that I had with Aunt Amy. She was so full of life and genuine enthusiasm, and it was contagious! Many times over the past year, I've wanted to call her to go see a movie, ride my bike over to her apartment, call her to take a walk on a beautiful day, or to tell her the news that Bryan and I are expecting. It's been a year of adjustment, and I miss her terribly.

However, I can say all of this knowing that she is whole again and is with her Lord and Savior. What a comfort! She's not in pain anymore and is Home! Praise the Lord! He has rescued her, and she will live with Him for eternity. I remember how meaningful this made the Easter season for me last year and will again this year. Praise the Lord for his victory over the grave!!

Finally, there were many songs that touched and spoke to my heart this past year as I dealt with this loss, but one in particular was very meaningful. Many mornings it would come on the radio on my way to work, and I'd have to dry my eyes before going into the office. It still gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. Here are the lyrics:


I Will Rise
Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
His is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worth is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise